Wondering

Do you ever wonder about the connections that you haven’t made with people? Often times we dwell on our relationships with our friends, family and acquaintances, but how often do we think about the people that we see only once and the potential connection you could have with them if you took the time to get to know them?

It’s an interesting thought because obviously we can’t stop and talk to every individual we pass in our lives, but have you ever wondered what the world would be like if you had talked to them? Consider, for instance, across a subway car you see a young woman about your age, she is very pretty and she is quietly reading a book. It takes you a moment to realize that she has looked up and made eye contact with you, but instead of quickly averting your eyes you feel comfortable enough to smile at her. She smiles back and in that moment you share a gaze that says nothing but implies anything.

That “Instant Amore,” as I like to call it, happens all the time to all kinds of people. It’s such a little and simple thing, but it’s something we can’t always shake. In that moment you share a love more pure than any you can ever have or ever will because it doesn’t really exist. Don’t know what I mean? James Blunt wrote a song about it.

Love always comes with it’s pros and cons. It will bring you great happiness, but it is impossible to have without some heartbreak, trials and tribulations. The thing about “Instant Amore” is that you never have any of the pros or cons, so you are left to imagine what could have been had life been a little different. You can imagine yourself with the other and you can imagine the love that you would have with them. The love you would have would be the most ideal love you could ever hope for because that’s what you want.

You see, the thing is, if you did go up to that girl on the subway, you would inevitably face something eventually that trips up that perfect vision, in just letting the moment pass you allow the perfect vision to stay intact. Whether she could ever love you or not is completely irrelevant and you know that it never really mattered one way or the other. And that is exciting.

Reality makes the perfect love less perfect, with time every love will hit an obstacle it will have to overcome and that makes it lose some of it’s great fantasy. There is a reason the story of Romeo and Juliet has been the most widely cited love story in the English language. It’s because the romance between Romeo and Juliet never had to face an internal obstacle. Everything about their love was perfect on the inside and it was only from outside were they forced to face reality. Had Romeo and Juliet survived they would have had to inevitably face life together including obstacles within their own relationship. Their deaths were necessary to make their romance perfect. They never got the chance to come down from the fantasy love that we all dream of. It was perfect for every moment they were together. Had they lived, there would have been moments where it was not.

This is exactly the reasons why the most romantic love is the love that you never love. You can believe that if that love had happened it would be perfect and you will never have any evidence to say otherwise. The catch-22, however, is that you can’t live life in a daydream.

(Unless you’re Robin Williams, in which case; dream on.)

Eventually you have to relish in the downs as much as the ups in love. If everything doesn’t work out, it’s alright, because at the end of the day, you have all the time in the world.

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