The Tragic End of a Coffee Maker

This is my sad story…


But the people depend on me! It thought to itself while it sat on the counter. I provide the sustenance these weary people need to survive

It was seven in the morning and the coffee maker had just short-circuited. The industrial coffee maker had been bought and installed back in 2003 and had served the men and women of the cubicles well for all the time since. Never had the coffee maker acted up or let people down in anyway. For nine years it supplied average coffee for forty employees. This was the first time it had ever failed.

The coffee maker would have shook with worry if it had been capable of shaking, but alas, it did not have such capability. As Herbert, the maintenance man examined the inner-workings, the coffee maker would have gagged at the smell of his breath, if it had the capability to smell. Herbert grimaced like a messenger facing a firing squad.

“Well, boss it looks like we’ll have to replace a few parts if we want to save it, but the parts are pretty expensive…”

“How expensive?” asked Lou, the corpulent floor manager for the floor upon which the broken coffee maker was now sitting.

“Expensive enough that it makes more sense to get a new one.”

No! Not the trash! Not yet! 

“You sure there’s no way we could put some duct tape on it or something?”

“Nah sir, that would be a safety hazard.”

Lou! Think of all the times I made you a lukewarm cup of coffee! You can’t do this to me! 

“Well, it only ever gave me lukewarm coffee anyway, so the next one will probably be a step up.”

What? The humans don’t want lukewarm coffee?? thought the industrial coffee maker.

The coffee maker knew that it would have asked Lou what kind of coffee he wanted, if it had the capability. Now it felt more depressed than ever before and resigned itself to its fate.

As Herbert tossed the broken coffee maker into the garbage, he might have heard it crying a little, if he had the capability to hear it.


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