Samson: The Perfect Love Story

Every kid who has ever been to Sunday School has heard the story of Samson, probably because Samson was kind of like the Superman of the old testament. He had unnatural strength and only one obscure weakness. If this is jogging your memory, then you are thinking, “Oh yeah, his weakness was that he could never cut his hair, right?”

Not unlike Hercules…

Wrong.

Samson’s weakness was women. The story of Samson turns out to be one of the most hilarious hyperboles with a moral lesson regarding women. Allow me to lay it out for you: don’t get too invested with a woman you know has no real interest in you.

Now if you’ve watched Lady and the Tramp, then you’re probably of the assumption that love conquers all things (with the exception of fleas). Or if you’ve read Romeo and Juliet, then you are probably under the impression that raging hormones is the perfect basis for a romantic union of two souls. I’m not going to say that you are wrong on either of those accounts, but both stories required both characters to be in love with each other. Anyone reading this who has been alive for 16 years or more can probably agree that a vast majority of the time love is one-sided.

Either you like her, she likes you, or you both like each other, but at different times.

All the time! Someone is always falling for someone else when that someone else just isn’t interested! Why aren’t there more stories of one sided love?? The Bible has copyright.

Samson is so head over heels for this woman that he knows doesn’t love him back that he is willing to do anything for her. We’ve all been there before, and like the rest of us, Samson just figures that he needs to say or do the right thing and all of a sudden she’ll realize that she loves him too. So she tells Samson that if he tells her how to take his power away, then she will love him back.

Samson gets all excited and tells her right away; you’ve got to cut his hair. Now get ready for a whole lot of similes and metaphors…

She cuts his hair in the middle of the night, because this kind of love can take your strength without you even knowing it.

He is captured by the Philistines and has both of his eyes taken out, because love can blind you.

He is tied up and humiliated, as most of us feel after being badly rejected or betrayed.

And then Samson drops a building on top of himself, like… no actually, never mind.

The point is that the story of Samson takes the most realistic kind of love story and nails it more than 2000 years ago.

Yeah, so screw you two.

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