Olympics

Maybe I’m just a terrible American.

There are so many factors that make me un-American. I’m underweight, I’m not a huge fan of Chik-fil-a, and I voted for an Independent  last November. However, likely the most un-American factor that makes me a terrible American is that I don’t really care for the Olympics.

I’m so, so sorry!

You see, Football is my sport. I would watch NFL all year long if I could. Unfortunately, Tom Brady needs to take some time off so as not to set fire to the atmosphere and Bill Belichik  needs some time to invent another hair-brained scheme to get into the Superbowl (which will succeed as usual.) But barring the greatest of all sports, I don’t have much interest in watching sports on t.v.

In the time I could watch a baseball game, I could watch a Lord of the Rings movie. In the time I could watch a soccer game, I could play a couple of rounds of solitaire. In the time I could watch a golf tournament, I could be dead. So when I say there are plenty of things I would rather do than watch the Olympics… I’m serious.

There is this idea that the Olympics is an opportunity for a nation to rally behind a few individuals who will compete to prove national superiority. It’s no big surprise that Adolf Hitler saw the Olympics as an opportunity to prove Aryan racial superiority to the world. What is the Olympics other than an international bragging rights competition?

Bragging?? We just had these fireworks lying around…

Wait! Wait… I left out the only legitimate use of the Olympics. I may not find sports competitions on television all that interesting, but the Olympics does do something that other television sports events do not: It brings the world together for a short time. Yes, there is an underlying spirit of competition, but this does not overshadow the togetherness that people around the world can feel when they come together and compete. A gold or silver medal is not going to determine the future of a country, but as the nations compete for them, people can relate with their triumphs and their defeats no matter where they are from.

The Olympics also work as Russia’s way of saying, “Don’t mess with us.”

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