“Legitimate” Rape

Recently, some moron made some interesting comments about rape. Republican senate candidate from Missouri, Todd Akins, informed the nation that women can’t actually get pregnant from “legitimate rape”. When asked about his opposition to abortion in the cases of rape and incest he responded:

“From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”


So basically, according to Akins, there is such a thing as legitimate rape, and the way that you can determine “legitimate” rape from “illegitimate” rape is a baby. If a woman get’s pregnant from a rape, then she must have wanted it, and it can’t be rape.

Let’s disregard for a moment that there is absolutely nothing to corroborate Akins’ claims and pretend like he’s right.

…Imagine how this would revolutionize crime in America! If we were to accept the Akins Doctrine of rape, then who would get prosecuted?

Well, obviously, in cases of rape, if the woman gets pregnant then the rapist gets off scott free. Rape requires a lack of consent from one of the parties involved. By getting pregnant, a woman’s body clearly offers consent. No matter how many times she said “No! No! No!” according to the Akins Doctrine; actions speak louder than words.

Yeah they do!

Let’s consider theft under the Akins Doctrine. Theft requires an individual, or individuals to take possessions from other individuals without their consent. If a burglar successfully steals your t.v. and you don’t successfully stop him, then you’ve implied consent for him to take your t.v. Clearly you didn’t want the t.v. enough to risk your life protecting it from being taken, so that means that you actually wanted them to take it. If you are shot and killed by the thief while you protect your property, then you demonstrate that you truly tried your hardest to keep your t.v. The burglary then becomes legitimate.

And lets not forget about murder! According to the Akins Doctrine, murder would only be legitimate if you survived the killing. If you die when someone attempts to kill you, then your will to live just wasn’t high enough. The person that killed you shouldn’t be charged with murder, they just assisted your suicide.

Maybe, deep down, Akins is just trying to get us to look at criminals from a kinder point of view.

…Then again, maybe he is one.


One response to ““Legitimate” Rape

  1. Haha! I love the idea that you have to survive a murder to make it legitimate! How ridiculous!

    The other line I just love to hear (not) is “She was asking for it” if wearing revealing clothing. Does a well-dressed businessman “ask” to have his wallet stolen? I thin k not.

    Great post!

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