(Post credit goes to Ian Fontaine)
Have you ever noticed that after a certain point at night advertisements don’t even try any more? It’s as if someone in sales took a look at viewer demographic after 12AM and said, “Well, they’re all drunk anyway…” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, allow me to enlighten you.
With the exception of very small children, there is no one who would be compelled to pick up the phone and fork over money for “Lots and Lots of Jets and Planes”. The catch, of course, is that very small children are usually incapable of using a phone and understanding the function of a credit card, but that doesn’t stop the advertisers from trying!
You think I’m kidding.
Sales people just don’t always think about what their commercials are going to look like or how they sound. Maybe they just don’t care!
We’ve all seen this one. “Slap Chop”. We get to watch some overly-enthusiastic, spikey-haired psychopath tell us all about this kitchen product. At :54 we hear an absolute absurd line that should never be in a commercial.
“You’re gonna love my nuts”
Really? They had to be nuts? They had to be his nuts? Haven’t these people ever heard of the internet? There’s literally only one way this was going to go. …Downhill.
Seriously, let’s think about some of these…
…Yes, “TIDDY bear”
I’m sure Tiger uses this.
Are you kidding me?
Oh, that was a parody.
You get the idea.