With A Little Help From My Friends

I’ve had many close friends over the course of my life. When I came to CNU I hoped I would make many new friends along my journey to becoming all I could be at the University. I never knew that within a week of moving in I would discover what would be the biggest impact of my CNU experience:

I met my best friend Michelle.

I know I’ve used this picture before.

Make no mistake, college can get very challenging at times. Like zubats in a dark cave in a Pokemon game, you will encounter all-nighters and scheduling conflicts with frustrating frequency. When you get really gung-ho at the beginning of the semester and take on much more than you are actually capable of, it usually doesn’t hit you until midway through the semester, at which point you find yourself lost and angry crying, “What have I done?” like Anakin in Revenge of the Sith.

At times these, you need someone to make you feel better about yourself, someone who cares about you, someone who’s willing to sit down and listen to you vent about whatever has got you stressing. Since your mom can’t go to college with you, it’s your best friend that comes to your aid.

In a way, a best friend is like family that you’re not related to. I’m an out-of-state student from Maine, so my family is even further away than most of my peers. This makes Michelle an even bigger impact on my time here at CNU. She’s the second sister I never had.

At CNU every student faces challenges, and every student at some point will feel truly victorious. When I’m stressing over a Spanish test Michelle offers to go through flashcards with me, when I get a call from a potential employer, she’s there to celebrate with me.

As anyone who’s ever been to CNU will agree, it’s not just about the classes that you take. This University has more to offer than small class sizes or the best rated residence halls in the state. This University has soul and it comes from the people in it, from the dining hall staff, to the faculty, to the friends you’ll have for a lifetime.

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Why “Bros Before Hoes” Is More Than Just a Joke

We’ve all heard the classic expression. Legend has it that the phrase was first said by King Menelaus to Paris before Paris stole Helen away from him and kicked off the Trojan War. Since then, the phrase has been put into a somewhat humorous context, but that doesn’t mean that the core message should be abandoned.

Really, there’s nothing funny about this.

In the modern day, “bros before hoes” is commonly used to prod a guy who is choosing to hang out with a girl rather than his guy friends. Yet there is a very serious basis for this prodding. Whether intentional or otherwise, a guy who consistently chooses a “hoe” over a “bro” sets a negative precedent of being unreliable with little value for friends.

For example, the perfect wingman is a “bros before hoes” guy. As a wingman, it is your mission to make the other guy look good. If you find yourself leaving him behind for the girl across the room that keeps staring at you, then you have failed your mission. Strategically switching off between primary and wingman roles is key.

Who a guy chooses to hang out with often correlates with where their priorities lie. In high school and college, guys risk spending a disproportionate amount of time with women due to the common misconception that if you spend enough time with a woman, you will eventually get laid. While they are consistently putting off hang-out time with the bros, they are advertising to guys and girls alike that any chance that they might possibly get some is more important than friends.

Inadvertently, the “hoes before bros” mentality could end up hindering a guy’s sex-driven mission more than it helps. Through practice, the guy reveals that he is more desperate for the girl’s attention than anything else. General tendencies would suggest that this desperation is actually a turn-off for a girl rather than a turn on. In some best-case scenarios, women will just take advantage of this desperation to get what they want. In the eternal words of Good Charlotte, “Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money.”

 

You can tell how smart a wiseman is by how much black he wears.

It turns out that man’s greatest strength is his apathy.

When you take this into account, you realize just how important “bros before hoes” is. When you hang with your bros you make yourself more attractive to women, you make yourself more liked by your bros, and you won’t have to spend money on anyone.

The “How’s it going?” Paradigm

“How’s it going?”

Any time we hear this phrase as we pass someone in a hall, on the street, etc. the response is always that same:

“Good!”

The weird thing is, this isn’t always true. I was able to observe a great example of this recently as our campus went through what is called “the housing lottery”. Basically, you choose where you want to live on campus for the upcoming year, and then you wait to get your lottery time. If your time is good enough then you’ll be able to select the room that you want before other people in the school take it. If your time isn’t good enough then your hopes and dreams will be crushed. It’s a lot like the Hunger Games except instead of 2 people being screwed from each district, nearly everyone gets screwed.

Image

And may the odds be ever in your favour.

Anyway, on the day of the lottery (or “The Reaping” as it’s affectionately known) no one is happy. Before everything is all settled everyone is stressed out of their mind worrying about what is going to happen, and after everything is all settled a good portion of people are angry and frustrated because things didn’t work out as well as they had hoped. 

Even on the darkest day of the year the response was nearly always “good” when “How’s it going?” was thrown out there. I know that I, myself, fell victim to this. I was walking across campus and a friend of mine walked by and said “Hey! How’s it going?” to which of course I responded, “Good!” and continued along my way. It took me three more steps before I realized that; no, I was not “good”. My housing situation stunk, I was stressed and frustrated. I was further from “good” that day than I have been in months, and yet my knee-jerk reaction was to respond the way I always respond and the way nearly everyone responds.

So why do we do this?

I’ve thought of a couple different possibilities. It could be a societal expectation that we are subconsciously trying to fulfil. If we do not meet that societal norm than we are different (which is bad apparently). We could be judged as self-centered jerks if we decided to elaborate and go into detail about how we are. The likely result would be forced exile.

It could be that we really have no idea how we are in that moment of contact. Like an easily distracted child we see someone that asks us “How’s it going” and our mind switches to a kind of “ooh, something shiny” mentality and we answer quickly and mindlessly.

It could also be that we are all malicious liars that are trying to spread falsehoods about our daily lives, but that seems a little extreme.

Then again, it could be I’m over-analysing something insignificant again. *woot*